When people are first moving out I do not think they realize all the bills that they are going to have.  They have had no experience in paying them and therefore really do no fully understand what it costs to live on their own.

If you are a parent of a young adult moving out or a teenager who is thinking about striking out on his or her own than I implore you to really think about all the expenses that you are going to have to cover every month.  Are you prepared for them?  Lets see.

Now normally when you think of getting your own apartment (I assume that most 18-21 years old are not in a position to buy a house) you factor in rent, food, basic utilities, and automotive necessities like a car payment, insurance, and fuel.

But, wait!  There are tons of other unexpected bills that you are going to need to factor in.

You are going to need to come up with security deposits for your apartment, a security deposit for your utility bills, a security deposit for your cable and Internet, and a security deposit for your cell phone if you do not already have one.

There are also items that you have never had to buy for yourself in the past.  Mom and dad always bought them for you.

These items will usually include toilet paper, tooth paste, shampoo, paper towels, dish soap, body soap, cleaning products, vacuum cleaner bags, and laundry soap.  If you are a female than you might have already guessed that you will need to also buy a plethora of other hair care products and feminine hygiene items.

You are most likely going to need to buy food condiments for your refrigerator like various spices (ie salt and pepper), mustard, mayonnaise, salad dressing, and possibly butter.  Unless you like to eat with your hands than you are also going to have to purchase cooking utensils like forks, spoons, knives, spatulas, bottle openers, pots, pans, bowls, and of course plates.

This will not apply to the majority of young people who move out since they will most likely be renting an apartment but if you and your friends decide to rent a house than you will need to purchase a lawn mower to mow the grass or have enough money to pay to have it done.  As I write this I am thinking of my neighbor right across the street from me.  I can see them now through my window.  The person who actually owns the house kept the yard in pristine shape for as long as I have lived in my house and now she moved somewhere else and is renting her home to this young guy and girl with a daughter.  They both cannot be any older than 25 years old.  Anyway, the yard looks like total crap now.  Weeds are coming out everywhere and the grass is ankle high.  They did not have a mower, borrowed one after some people complained enough, and maybe mowed their grass once all summer long.  Everyone else on the block has their lawns mowed and edged up and the people who are renting has their yard that looks like it came out of a horror movie.

Another unexpected expense that many teens do not think about when moving out is automotive maintenance.  I am not talking about the actual car payment, auto insurance, and fuel which will be the biggest car related bills.  I am talking about oil changes (every 3 months or 3,000 miles) and other scheduled maintenance needed for a vehicle.  You are going to need to get the brakes serviced every so often, new tires, studded tires if you live in colder climates, and there will totally unexpected mechanical problems (even if you  have a new car).

You might say you are going to save but you are not going to save anything for at least the first year.  Keep in mind I am not trying to be negative nor am I telling you to live with your parents indefinitely.  I am strictly pointing out what your total REAL expenses are going to be every month.

Your entertainment is going to eat up a large portion of your paycheck.  You are not going to stay at home and do nothing.  You could have done that at home.  One of the main reasons you moved out was not only to be independent but to have fun.  You are going to be having parties at your house, going to parties, going to the movies, eating out, ordering pizza 1/3 days of the week, and living the life.  Fun will be that huge expense that we almost never plan for and yet costs us the most.  If you saved all your receipts every month and really calculate how much money you spend on amusement you would be surprised.  Just as surprised as if you saved all your Starbucks and coffee receipts and had an exact figure on how much you spend on coffee every month.

So you need to make a spreadsheet and add up all your expenses.  That is why I say you need to take the sum of everything you think you can afford, half it, and then you have what you really can afford.

What we think we can handle and what we really can handle is totally different.  And this is not just for young people this is for everyone.  Why do you think your average American household has $8,000 in credit card debt and 43% of American families spend a lot more than they earn each year?

If this is happening to people who have great jobs than what about you?

You think you have a job in which you can make $2000 a month working 40 hours a week then, please, do not set your bills based off $2,000 in income!  Set your monthly expenses at maximum $1200 a month.  That way you have a cushion.  You will see that your $1200 expected expenses will be $2,000 once its all said and done.  But if you put your expenses at $2000 than your expenses will be more like $2500-$3000 and you will be in the red.  You will have to borrow from friends and family and that might work for a month, maybe two, but you will end up in a massive amount of debt and end up moving back in with your parents within a year.

Do yourself a favor.  If you are moving out of your parents house put your bills lower than you can afford.  Give yourself some room to breath.  You do not want to be saddled down with a bunch of liabilities you cannot meet or will have trouble meeting them.

Living with your parents for a couple years after you turn eighteen is not as bad as it seems.  You will have way more money than all your friends who moved out.  They will be struggling and you will be at the mall buying whatever you want because you do not have rent or utilities to pay for.  When you get home your mom will have a nice roast ready with mashed potatoes that you probably will not appreciate but she doesn’t care because she’s your mom.  She will also do your laundry for you.  If you need some help your parents will b right there and willing to help you.  You can save up, go to college, or start your own business.  Why would you want to put yourself at a disadvantage for nothing.

I have seen countless teens with a lot of promise just saddle themselves with tons of debt doing this.  I hope many of them, as well as their parents, are reading this and will actually take what I am writing to heart.  I pleaded with one of my adopted sons Ira to stay at home with me for a little while and save his money but he fought me every step of the way.

Ira wanted to get his own place and sure enough two months later he was calling me on the phone begging for $350.  I sent him the money, reluctantly, but that did no good.  What can I do?  He is 22 years old and can make his own choices.  Moving into a new apartment is expensive and he was not ready yet he argued with me that he was.  Look at the result.

Make a moving checklist and stick to it.  Create a spreadsheet and follow the procedure I just laid out.  Be prepared for unexpected bills and plan for them.  I do not mean to rain on your parade at all.  I was there too and I made a bunch of mistakes that were probably not too smart at the time. Hopefully you can read this and not make the same mistakes that I made.   A few bad choices and you can ruin your credit and good name.

Take what I said and really think about it.  You will be better off and can thank me later.

-John Vogt